I just got this great question in from one of my personal coaching clients and I wanted to share it with you as I think you’ll find it useful…
Bruce, in spirit of tapping into more of your wisdom, what are some of the techniques you’ve used personally or have seen work well in others to snap out of down times?
I’ve just had 1.5 days of feeling quite down. I’ve done some good analysis on it and one of my actions from it was to ask you the question above.
Techniques/Things that have worked well for me in the past have included:
· Exercise / swimming
- Eating fruit
- Calling a friend
- Writing in my diary
- Tidying up
- Listening to great music
Let me know! I have a sense you’ll have some great insights.
Great question Richard and thank you for reaching out.
Everything you listed is what I would call a fix – like a band aid that does not deal directly with the source of the wound.
Techniques are all good and well and can work in the short term to relieve pain, but the pain always returns later and with more intensity until the source is handled.
Let’s get to the root of why you are feeling down and sort that out, and then take what we get. Getting to the source may be painful (or not) and that is why so few people ever get there.
If you’re feeling down, it’s almost certainly becasue one or more of the following are true for you:
- You are resisting what is so
- You have broken your word to yourself or another
- You are attached to an idea or person
- You are witholding something that needs to be expressed
- You are only seeing one side of the coin (think DeMartini)
So, I have a few questions for you with regard to you feeling down:
- What are you RESISTING?
- What are you doing or not doing that dishonours an agreement(s) to yourself?
- What are you doing or not doing that dishonours an agreement(s) to another?
- What idea or person are you attached to?
- What are you withholding (not saying) from another?
- Where are you only seeing one side of the coin on an important issue in your life?
Assuming that you answer these questions and discover the real cause of your down-ness, let’s look at what you can do to get your life back to feeling gratitude.
- If you’re resiting something, can you let it go? What would happen if you did? Can you accept that thing or person just the way they are? More accurately, WILL you accept that thing or person just the way they are?
- If you have dishonored an agreement(s) to yourself, what do you need to do to restore it?
- If you have dishonored an agreement(s) to another, what do you need to do to restore it?
- If you are attached to something, can you let it go? What would happen if you did? Can you accept that thing or person just the way they are? More accurately, WILL you accept that thing or person just the way they are?
- If you are withholding, what do you need to express to another?
- If you’re only seeing one side of the coin, what is the other side? If you are only seeing drawbacks, what are the positives. If you are only seeing benefits, what are the drawbacks. Seeing these opposites and getting the perfection of the equilibrium of Life will bring you to gratitude.
After answering these questions, get back to me with what you learned and the action steps you are going to take. We can also discuss this on our next call if you like.
P.S. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, so please leave me a comment…